Geoff Plitt delivers the news with a twist.
In Trump news, a new report says Donald’s daughter Tiffany, and Don Jr’s ex-wife Vanessa, both hooked up with secret service bodyguards. I guess that’s why they just changed the agency’s name to the “Well-I-Guess-the-Cat’s-Out-of-the-Bag Service”.
Get this. There’s a porn star running for governor of California, who has been campaigning mostly at strip clubs. My sources say she ‘s the first candidate to receive donations strictly in singles. And she’s trending very high on the poles!
In Ohio, the government is doing a “vaccination lottery”, giving away $1M each to 5 lucky people who get the jab. Asked if they’re funding anything for people who decide not to get the vaccine, officials said “Yes! Hospitals.”
In case you missed it, the CDC has finally announced they are authorizing the Pfizer vaccine for kids. But only for kids who can spell “Pfizer”.
Finally, Caitlyn Jenner was caught lying about her 2020 ballot, saying she “couldn’t get excited” enough to vote, although public records say she did. Hey, if there’s one thing Caitlyn’s great at, it’s changing her mind.
#Politics #Standup #Comedian
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